Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Two words: blizzard sex
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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