In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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