Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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