So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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