I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
