i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
