We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize