I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize