Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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