Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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