Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
