So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
