i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
