By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
