i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
