I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
