that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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