what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
