Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
