I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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