No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
