I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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