last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize