Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize