I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
