Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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