Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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