Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
