Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
