I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
