Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
