mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
