Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
