dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
