i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
