My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
