i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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