Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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