You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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