Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
