Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
