This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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