I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
