He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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