i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
