what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
