Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
