Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am spending my child support on dildos

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(956): View more from Texas

Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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(256): View more from Alabama

dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.

(317): View more from Indiana

Also, my apartment walls are too thin

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