Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize