I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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