Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I look better un-naked...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
