i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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