This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize