haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize