That's when you crack a 10am beer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
