you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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