I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
