I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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