I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
