i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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