your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i barfeds in our rink
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
