Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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